Memory
by TemplarArchon
Summary: When the SGC honors her memory for all she's done, it leaves a void in everyone that used to be filled with her radiance, her happiness, and to one particular member of SG-1, her love.


Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and all related characters do not belong to me.

Memory

Silence. All throughout the base, there was silence. There were no alarms blaring. No lights were flashing. No computers beeping. Just a lingering, discomforting silence. Yet, even though the base was much quieter than usual, the silence in itself was deafening.

It just didn't feel right. Nor did it sound right, at all. There was something missing there, a gap that none had ever been and ever will be ever to fill. The happiness was gone. The laughter was gone. By now, everyone on base would just love if even the slightest breath, the slightest movement would break the silence that had surrounded them.

But no. There was nothing. Nothing but silence, and the memories.

All through the base, everyone stood in silence. Some stood out of respect. Others, out of duty. But to those people, it was just a task, something to do for a few minutes to honor the memory of someone they hardly knew. But, there were five that stood in complete sincerity.

One of those five was standing in his own office, the artifacts he had been examining strewn about almost carelessly. When the announcement came, he stood in silence along with the rest of the base. It was times like these when he regretted always bringing his video camera offworld. It all seemed so pointless now. The wasted films based solely on alien races and their technologies. It was all fascinating, of course, since that was what he was best at.

But now, he was subjected to the grim reality of it all: It was all wasted. For all these years he had taken her for granted. All these years she had always been there for him and for everyone else. But not anymore. And for him, the linguist with the camera always by his side, he still was left with nothing to remember her by, except her care and her memory forever missing from his heart.

The second of those five was meditating in his own quarters on the base, the orange glow of the candles around him producing pale light that played across his face. When the announcement came over the PA system, he did not stand. He merely remained in meditation. During his time on the base, he had always felt as if he did not belong. But his fellow comrades of SG-1 helped him become an accepted and respected member of the SGC. He had always held her in such high regard.

In some ways he did not have as deep a connection with her, seeing as he was of a different race, a different planet. While on Earth, there were times where their customs would seem strange to him. But in her practice, there was nothing strange. She was...a healer. And after witnessing the horrible things that he has seen, the shootouts, the battles, and the enslavement of his people, anyone who could devote themselves so much to the healing of others was certainly worthy of his respect.

The third of the five was pacing in his office, much as he often did when he was thinking about something. He was the one who had issued the announcement over the PA a few minutes ago. But, even while silence engulfed the base, his thoughts and his mind were still rambling on and on.

It was such a shame, actually. He was a general, and so he had to bear the great responsibility of overseeing this base and everyone in it. However, by taking such a responsibility, he had inadvertently distanced himself from those under his command. He could never truly experience what it was like to be with them, to share their thoughts, to be a part of their lives. There was a wall there that nobody could ever pass. All he could do was give them orders. But what could they do? They just take his orders and do what he says. And now, he immediately regrets his actions. Of all the people on base, he should have seen better. In his ignorance, he saw her only as a tool, an asset to this facility that would help the base stay in good condition. But in her passing, his eyes were opened to what exactly he had been missing. He had never really appreciated her as the wonderful person she is. It's a shame he'll never get to do so again.

The fourth was standing in his own quarters, silently examining the plaques and pictures he had framed on his wall. When the announcement had been given, he simply stood in that same silence, his eyes fixed on the wall ahead. His eyes drifted to a photograph in one corner of the wall. It was a picture of the whole gang, having fun at his house. It was quite the rare occasion for them all to come over just for a night of good old fashioned fun. It was easy to overlook that after being introduced to the hustle and bustle of the SGC.

He remembered that night very clearly. For once, the entire gang was free. He could hardly remember the last time such a rare occurrence had popped up. But now that it had, he eagerly took the opportunity to invite them all over to his lakeside retreat, where they could just have some fun for awhile, off the job. Man, what a night that was. And when it all finally died down, he practically collapsed into his bed, exhausted. He sure slept well that night. It was nice to be surrounded by those that care about you. Nothing can bring as much peace as that.

That was a long time ago, and even then, he could still feel it all happening around him. He couldn't help but admire how much responsibility she bore. The key to somebody's life or death was almost always quite literally in her hands. She had saved everyone on the base at least once or twice, that's for sure. After all he'd been through, it's nice to know that the good Doc's always there to patch him back up again. He's been in battle after battle, war after war, saved the world countless times over, and she's always been there to fix them back up when things went wrong. He almost felt ashamed, even. After all she's done for him, he goes off and mocks her, teases her, but never truly, sincerely, thanks her for all she's done. Now, she's too far beyond his grasp to even think of doing that now.

And as for the fifth, she had spent the time alone, in her quarters, flipping through the pages of her various photo albums. Of everyone on the base, she definitely had the closest connection with her. She could never, and would never forget her. She was always there to help, always there to offer a helping hand, always there to give an encouraging smile when she was down. If angels actually existed, there would have been no doubt in her mind that she was one.

Then again, she never really thought of things like that. She didn't believe in that kind of stuff. But even if she didn't believe in angels and whatnot, she still could not deny how much she meant to her. She was more than a friend to her. Though, if anybody knew, then there would be no way for the pain to end.

She knelt on the cool, smooth metal ground beside her little cot, and spread the pictures out on the sheets. She was not normally one to cry. She was supposed to be strong, to be just as much of a strong, true American man as every other soldier on this base. But now, in the secrecy of her quarters, she could finally be honest with herself. Finally, the silence of the base was broken by her sharp, angry sobs. Tears streaked down her cheeks and struck the pictures. Each picture gave her yet another memory she would never forget. There was a time when she was always so happy, always so cheerful and bright. Now, that time was swept away, struck down just as forcefully as the Jaffa had struck down her lover.

Her voice...

...her laughter...

...her touch...

...her happiness.

These were the things she could never forget, the things that had made her fall in love with her in the first place. When she saw that footage, she had stifled back tears. There are few things that can tear at you more than watching someone you love fall like that. But no, she wouldn't remember her like that. She wouldn't remember her as just some cannon fodder in the field.

But she would never forget the life of her best friend in the world.

She was her friend. She was her lover.

She was the only thing that kept her going when her pain was so great.

That day, Samantha Carter mourned the death of her best friend.

She would never forget Janet Frasier. With her, she was able to experience love, friendship...

...and for one brief moment in time, the peace that we all seek, but few ever find.

Fin


End file.
